Blood's secrets
by polaroidpanda
Summary: In the aftermath of Diana Reid's death, a secret is uncovered. What happens when you find out that your life is build on lies? You've been robbed of something vital; your only hope it's that you're not too late to have it back.
1. Chapter 1

**Blood's secrets**

**Chapter 1**

The last cardboard box falls with a loud sound, ending up in a corner, with all the others. Spencer Reid sighs loudly, he rolls his eyes to the ceiling and tries not to think, he just lost the only member of his family that was always with him, even when she wasn't lucid he still knew she loved him with all her heart.

The truth is that Diana Reid died a week ago leaving him with just eight full boxes and mixed memories.

He lets his body slide to the floor, his back sliding down the wall, he's too tired now to open those boxes, he know that the memories will be overwhelming and he's not ready for that right now.

He sighs deeply again, rubbing his sore arms, the tears stopped falling days ago, now, just the sense of loss remains.

He closes his eyes and breathes deeply, in takes only minutes and he falls asleep between boxes and piles of old books, he feels strangely at home.

Spencer wakes up a Monday morning with sore legs, lying on a mountain of old books. He actually feels fine, for the first time since he received the news of his mother death. He doesn't know if the familiar smell of old pages and moulds that helped, but he's not feeling so guilty and tired anymore and he actually thinks he could go to work without many difficulties. He's glad it's Monday!

He finally thinks he can move on. He knows she would've wanted him to.

He's getting ready for work, drinking his second coffee of the morning when the phone starts ringing.

He answers quickly and he's greeted by Hotch's voice.

"Hey Hotch, do we have a case? I was just about to get out of my apartment, I should be there shortly."

"Reid, please. Stop a moment! We don't have any case so I called to tell you we're all taking a day off. It was a stressful week for all of us, especially for you, another day off won't hurt. I'll call if there is an emergency; otherwise the other teams will take our place."

"But, Hotch. I… I really want to protest but I have no idea what to say."

"I know, Reid. I prepared myself before calling you. There's no room for objections, I'll see you tomorrow at work! Have a nice day!"

"Thanks, You too"

It doesn't happen often that Spencer finds himself without words. This, apparently, is one of those moments. He feels extremely grateful for the support of his team, the only family he has left.

He decides to finish his coffee and to eat a slice of the cake Garcia left in his refrigerator; he takes some time for himself, to relax. After, he'll sort through his mother things.

When he opens the first box, he has to breathe deeply to stop himself from starting to cry again, photos of his mother, so beautiful and still sane. At school and at work, her students and a small Spencer, still just a child with brilliant prospective.

The rest of the day is emotionally exhausting. All the boxes are empty and he feels tired. He even forgot to eat, not that it's the first time.

He goes in the kitchen and start making coffee, enjoying the silence of his apartment. The phone rings, loud in the quiet, and Spencer answer without looking at the screen.

"Spencer Reid"

There's silence on the other side and Spencer frowns. "hello?"

"Spencer, it's me." Spencer's breathe hitches in his throat. He wasn't expecting him to call; he's not ready for this.

"Spencer, I… I just needed to talk to you. I'm so sorry for your mother."

The profiler shakes his head, snorting softly in the phone. "Yes, dad. I'm sure you are, especially since you didn't even come to her funeral." He can't keep the sarcasm and bitterness out of his voice.

"I didn't think either of you would have wanted me there, and, well. You know... I'm married, I have a new family. They don't really know about you, I couldn't… I'm sorry."

Spencer feels the words stabbing him, he always knew that his father wanted a normal life, but to completely leave them behind like this, and to find out about a new normal family, that's too much.

"Why did you call, then? If it's only to apologize, then you didn't have to bother. I would prefer to never see you or hear from you again." Spencer's hands are trembling, he can feel anger building in his chest.

"I didn't want to call, I'm ok with us not keeping in contact, you know it." Oh, Spencer knows, he just wishes it didn't hurt so much.

He can hear his father sighing on the line. "Me and Diana, we kept something from you, we shouldn't have done it. It could have severe repercussions, even now… but, I can't keep this secret anymore, especially now that she's dead."

Spencer sits heavily on the ratted armchair, folding his legs to his chest. "A secret? Another one? I thought that… never mind. Just spit it out, so you won't feel guilty anymore and I'll deal with it, like always."

"Spencer, try to understand, it's not easy for me either. Never mind, I guess you're right, there's not really a sensible way to say something like this."

Spencer is starting to lose his temper, he needs to know now!

"William, just get it over with, okay! This has been a bad week, I had to bury my mother and I wasn't even able to say goodbye to her, so please! Just spit it out!"

"That's the problem, Spencer. She wasn't your mother." William Reid speaks softly, his voice defeated and relieved at the same time.

Spencer closes his eyes and feels his heart breaking. "What?"

tbc

reviews and comments are love, just please, be polite!


	2. Chapter 2

First I wanted to thank all of you that reviewed or put this story in your alerts and favorites. I really appreciate that! I'm not good at answering to the reviews but I read them all and I take in consideration everything you write.

enjoy!

**Chapter 2**

"I'm really sorry, Spencer. This is nothing like I imagined this to be… I hope you understand, it needed to be said."

Spencer can hear his fath… no, William Reid, a stranger. He can hear him talking, his words confused in his hears, he guesses he's shocked; not surprising after a revelation of this kind.

"You're sorry?" He asks. He can't think properly. "Don't you think you should have told me this earlier? I don't understand…" He hugs his own legs harder, he closes his eyes and tries to concentrate.

"Spencer, I… We couldn't tell you. I don't even think your… Diana remembered it anymore. I realize it must be a shock for you, I really don't know what to say to make you feel better."

He can hear William sighing on the phone.

"Feel better?" He laughs, "Do you really think there is anything that could make me feel better right now?"

"No, I guess, no. Spencer, you know Diana always loved you, she never loved you less for this!"

This is so surreal. "But you did, didn't you? Is that the real reason why you left? It must have been easier leaving me behind."

"No, Spencer! No! I really loved you, you were like my son… I just. Life was just so hard… with Diana's illness and everything. I couldn't stand for you to live like that, it wasn't fair, but I couldn't possibly take you away from her. I just, I took the coward way out."

"You couldn't take me away? What are you talking about! We could have dealt with the situation in another way… you left me alone with her, I had no idea what to do! Genius or not, I was only a child! Taking care of her shouldn't have been my responsibility!"

He knows he's shouting now, he just feels so angry and betrayed, like it's all happening once again. Another bomb is being dropped over his head and he has no idea on how to cope.

"Spencer, there was no way out of it. You weren't… you weren't with us in a… legal way."

Spencer frowns, breath still labored from the shouting. "Legal way? Explain yourself, please." He tries to ignore the way his eyes are starting to water, swiping at them quickly with his sleeve. "This is… there is nothing that could make this any worse."

"Ok, I'm going to tell you what happened. Just, let me finish before saying anything. Diana was already sick, back then. She wasn't so bad, yet, but she had her episodes. She would go out and walk around aimlessly, night and day.

Once, she stayed out almost all night, I woke up in the middle of the night and she wasn't there. I waited and waited.

She arrived back home around five in the morning, she had… well, she had you in her arms. Just a baby, maybe one year old, wrapped up in her coat. Your vest was bloody, but you were ok, sleeping. I tried to ask her where she had found you, what happened… but she wasn't lucid. I wanted to call the police, but… I was afraid she had done something bad… I loved her so much, Spencer, you have to understand! I didn't know what to do.

The day after it was all over the news, a young teenage girl, found dead in the park… the way Diana reacted, I knew it was there she found you. I… don't think she hurt that girl… she just found you and… she was just helping. But she was sick, the police, they wouldn't have understood… so we just… from that moment you were ours. I know it was illegal, we just thought it would be the best solution for everyone… We always wanted a child and you were alone, I thought it was for the best."

"Oh, God…" Spencer breath hitches; He can see black spots in front of his eyes. This is… this is too much!

He interrupts the connection quickly without another word. All his life, everything he always knew about himself and his family… none of that was ever real.

He just sits there staring at the wall for a long time. He doesn't think the tightness in his chest will ever go away.

Spencer spends the rest of the day numb, too many thoughts circling in his head. He can't stop thinking about her, Diana. He doesn't know if he should still think of her as his mother, that worries him.

She surely did something illegal and even if his father didn't believed it at the time, she still could have done something to his real mother. God.

He can't help thinking that maybe his life could have been better, who knows?

They're both dead now, Diana and his biologic mother. He wants to know more but, what's the point? The truth might hurt him more. Knowledge isn't always a blessing.

He looks at the sky getting darker. Spencer sighs and decides to go to sleep, or at least try. He's not in a hurry to make a decision, he'll think about it tomorrow, maybe going to work will help him clear his mind.

He closes his eyes and lets his thoughts drift.

tbc


	3. Chapter 3

hey, this is a note to say that the story is not abandoned.

I'm working on it again and I'll try to post more as soon as I can.

thanks to all the people commenting and following this story!

I appreciate it and I'll try not to disappoint you.


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